There is no Rut in my Gut
I have been through a lot of growth lately but it’s much different than my growth from the past. The things I am doing now are intentional. I am used to finding lessons after trauma, drama or grief. What typically happens is the emotions calm down, I find some clarity and the hidden lesson appears to me in an a-ha moment. It’s normally a new way to behave or something to be wary of in the future. But the growth I am now experiencing came directly from my intuition. My gut was telling me that the status quo was longer serving me. It told me to cut off my dreadlocks, change my name, do a 3-day water fast and a month-long non-drinking challenge.
My gut was telling me not to get back into the rut.
At first, I did not understand why I was putting all of this in front of myself. I am super happy and my life is going great. My fear was that this was a mid-life crisis. I was really hoping that there would be some huge prize coming from all of this. Not being able to figure out what it was, I let my intuition take the lead.
My hair was tangled with emotions. Cutting my hair was terrifying. I was so afraid I would regret it. I immediately felt lighter and freer. The change felt good.
It was so fun being Pippy and I will always have a part of Pippy in me. As Michelle, I feel more grounded, more authentic and ready to invite more intimacy into my life.
Chemical toxins, negative feelings, and emotions are released when you fast. The fast was extremely difficult for me. I felt this fast was important because it symbolized me becoming as basic as I could and that I can truly let go of anything. It symbolized that I can allow myself to be weak, and in my vulnerability lies my strength. Fasting makes me feel like a warrior.
When I decided to try not drinking alcohol for a month it was just for the challenge of it. I used to drink a lot more often and was happy that it was not such an important part of my life. When I got too tipsy or drunk I could behave badly, and as a 50-year-old, that’s just not so cute.
I had a few great lessons from this experiment. By letting go of drinking I gained the ability to go out and have a good time, without alcohol. I believe that I will be drinking a lot less from now on. I also loved the effects of being sober when I was out with friends. Being able to drive home was great and not having a hangover was amazing. But the very best part of my non-drinking month was kissing the cutest guy at the party, and remembering all of the details!
Even though I felt benefits and learned many lessons after doing these things, the aha moment just arrived today. I now understand why my intuition was so strong and I had the urge to do all of these things right away. The decluttering process had already taken place in my home, my heart, and my calendar. I had created beautiful space inside and around me so that I could begin to re-design my life from the ground up. But something was missing. Growth needed to take place in my being!
When I thought there was nothing to let go of, there was actually so much more I was still holding on to. Growth is not easy and I can’t tell you that I am not scared of what’s going to happen next. I don’t know what else I have left to let go of! I can tell you that I am excited beyond belief just thinking about what is possible knowing that I can trust my gut to keep my life interesting, exciting and rut free!
If you’re interested in improving your life, check out my other posts.